What Would You Say on Your Car?

A few years back I wrote a book featuring a rock-climing hero (The Thrill of it All) who, to the heroine's dismay, wore throughout the book a series of T-shirts with questionable slogans. I have to say I had a great time with those shirts. In another scene, the heroine is outside the hero's bar and inspecting bumper stickers pasted all over the car of one of the bar's patrons. MEAT IS DEAD, read one. CARPE GENITALIA read another.

Bumper stickers can tell us a lot about a person. Beyond what they say, it's interesting to note what someone chooses to tell the world. They're will to announce their political views, their college alma maters, all number of things. Only one of our cars has bumper stickers on it. Our old Cabriolet has one that reads: Lemon Ave. Leo Leopard on Board (referring to the school mascot of Lemon Avenue Elementary, which my sons attended) and another that says, Back Off! Goddess on Board with smaller type beneath that advises Read Anne Stuart's Books! (A fabulous idea, by the way.)

But today, today I saw a car with a bumper sticker that claimed the woman driving was a Cloth Diapering Momma.

Wow. Why? Maybe it's been too long since I was dealing with diapers and baby-centric decisions, but I cannot for the life of me understand why someone would want to make this claim about themselves. Doing a quick investigation on the web, hoping to find a replica of the sticker, I came across another: Sexy Dads Diaper with Cloth.

Oh-kay. You find me a man willing to put this on his car and I'll sell you some beautiful Arizona beachfront.

It did get me thinking that our other cars (you don't want to know why we have FOUR) need some bumper stickers. What would I like to tell the world? Hmm. I've been getting some grateful fan mail recently. Maybe I'll have one made up that says: READ ROMANCE...YOUR HUSBAND WILL BE GLAD YOU DID!

Scrotum Scrotum Scrotum Scrotum

I don't remember being one of those kinds of kids who would immediately do what they'd just been ordered not to do. You know, if my mom said, "Don't touch the stove," then I wouldn't instantly touch the stove.

But that some school librarians are talking about banning a Newbery award winning book because it uses the word "scrotum" in the opening pages...well, you see how I've reacted. The Newbery award is one of the most prestigious awards in children's literature. The scrotum in question is the scrotum of a dog, and the protagonist overhears the word. A rattlesnake has bit the aforementioned dog in the aforementioned place.

Good God, librarians! Even if you don't have those things that go inside a scrotum, at least find your spine! Or your brain. Scrotum is a clinical term. The situation in this children's story is not sexual. Let's not foster fear of body parts. Please.

I have to go out now. I have a book to buy and a word to mutter to myself over and over and over and over.

Wearing a New Hat

I apologize for not posting in a while…I have a good reason and a bad reason. Good reason: The manuscript-in-progress is going well! Bad reason: Surfer Guy (my husband) discovered that a disc in his back has re-ruptured. While this doesn’t cause me any pain (poor Surfer Guy is suffering) it is distracting as we contemplate his next move. Two surgeries in three months sucked and he’s not ready to be “filleted” again as he puts it.

However, writing and angsting have never stopped me from reading, so I thought I’d put a different hat on and write a brief book review for Lisa Gardner’s latest, Hide.

Gardner’s books have become an auto-buy for me, even at hardcover prices. She’s just so damn good at keeping me on the edge of my seat. I have an easy test for this: If a book can keep me focused while I’m reading on the stepmill machine at the gym (instead of timer-watching), then it’s good. Gardner can do one better. I’m actually sorry when my time is up because that means I have to shut the book…at least long enough to get home and shower.

In her latest book, Gardner revisits a character, Bobby Dodge, first seen in Alone. This is one of my favorite elements of Gardner’s books. While she doesn’t have a recurring sleuth, she’ll circle back to characters from previous novels. You don’t have to have read Alone to appreciate Hide, but I’d suggest you start there. In Hide, Bobby is now a state detective and is called in to work a case with the Boston PD. Six bodies have been found in an underground pit on the site of an abandoned mental hospital and when one of the dead is identified by name in the news, a young woman calls to say she is very much alive…

I’ve been an avid mystery reader all my life and I’m pretty good at figuring out the who in whodunits. Not with Gardner’s books. There are twists, turns, and twisted minds, none of which are predictable, yet all that come together to make a satisfying, suspenseful read. And there’s romance… But that’s done well too. Characters don’t take time out of detecting or fearing for their lives in order to have a romantic dinner or take in a movie. They don’t suddenly have sex while bullets are flying. It’s subtle, believable, and makes you only root for the characters more. So…I highly recommend!

Do you read outside of romance? Are you a mystery/suspense fan like me?